If you don’t have a diagnosed eating disorder yet find yourself binge eating, you’re likely experiencing relief eating which has nothing to do with lacking willpower or self-control.
Relief Eating is different to binge eating.
Your body operates with many systems that are constantly working to stay in balance. One of these is your Eating System - the internal structure that shapes how, when, and why you eat. When this system is thrown out of sync, relief eating is the way it restores the balance. This happens automatically, whether you’re aware of it or not.
But here’s the problem: when you’re in the grip of relief eating, a balanced diet goes out the window. The sheer number of calories you can consume in these eating episodes can seriously derail your health and weight goals.
How does an eating system cause Relief Eating?
Everyone’s Eating System is unique, like a fingerprint, shaped by personal history, emotions, and past experiences with food. Understanding your own Eating System is essential. Without it, these eating episodes can come out of nowhere and take over before you even realise what’s happening. There’s no conscious choice in the moment - your system is running on autopilot, pulling you back into the same pattern, no matter how much you want to stop it.
When an Eating System is out of balance, relief eating follows a three-stage process to restore stability:
Stage 1 - Hungering – a peak stress event, starting a diet, or some disturbance throws the Eating System off balance, leaving you hungering for the chocolate (or your fave junk food)
Stage 2 - Eating – when you’re in this stage you’re in the zone eating the chocolate
Stage 3 - Resolution – here you ‘come to’ and the urge to eat disappears as the level of relief has been reached
Relief eating doesn’t begin when you open the fridge or the packet - that moment is just the tipping point. Your system has already been working to correct an imbalance, and eating is simply the final step in restoring stability. So, if you only focus on the act of eating, you’ll miss everything that led up to it.
Real change doesn’t come from trying to control the eating once it starts. Willpower has little effect because, by then, your system is already in motion. If you only address relief eating at its endpoint, you’re not solving the problem at its source. The real work lies in identifying the disruptions in your Eating System before they escalate into relief eating.
How do I change my Eating System?
To change relief eating at its source, you need to understand its purpose and how it functions within your Eating System. A full investigation requires stepping back and looking at everything that led up to the moment—not with self-blame, but with curiosity. That means observing the buildup, not just the moment of eating.
And afterwards, mapping the full system with everything that feeds into it.
When you understand why your relief eating happens, you will stop blaming and shaming yourself. That’s when real change can begin.
Ready to take the next steps?
If you’re ready to discover the true cause of your relief eating, discover the Food Choices and Eating Patterns Program which gives you the pathway, tools and guidance to solve your Relief Eating by using the following link.
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